Home » Geeking Out » Doctor Who » The Ups and Downs of being a Fan; Or, “Joss Whedon, George RR Martin and Steven Moffat walk into a bar and everyone you have ever loved dies.”

The Ups and Downs of being a Fan; Or, “Joss Whedon, George RR Martin and Steven Moffat walk into a bar and everyone you have ever loved dies.”

If you know who came up with that quote originally, I will credit them. I heard it in a comments board, and it is SO. TRUE. *cries*

Ahem, so, anyways…

I’ve been reading the Snark Squad reviews on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel the series — which are hilarious and clever and I’m utterly addicted to them — which is where this quote popped up. As a fan of things created by all three of the men, I am acutely aware of their ability to break our hearts in the most effective and surprising ways possible in the name of good story-telling, and make us paradoxically curse their names and beg for more at the same time.

But it happens to be especially timely right now, because I’ve also been processing the fact that there’s only TWO episodes of Matt Smith as the Doctor left.

As a Whovian, realizing you’ll soon have to say good-bye to another Doctor is always a very bittersweet moment. And I’m still traumatized (in a sort of good way, I guess) about saying goodbye to Amy and Rory last season… *sigh* Such is the price of fandom for a good series.

The very first time I heard of the Doctor, it was during Christopher Eccleston’s year, and it wasn’t even an episode. A friend of my older brother’s had some kind of documentary special about Doctor Who playing on the TV in the background, and I kept noticing clips of it. The two images that stuck with me especially were of Peter Davison and his bit of celery (I knew him as an actor from the All Creatures Great and Small series, and loved him in it), and of Christopher Eccleston telling Rose to grab his hand and run, which I later discovered was from their very first meeting in the first episode of his time as the Doctor.

Some time later, I finally got to see the entire of the Ninth Doctor’s season properly, from start to finish. I streamed it off Netflix — back when Netflix was just starting to do that — and watched the whole thing in about two days.

It took a while to adjust to David Tennant. He was so different than the leather-jacket-clad, battle-weary, serious Doctor I first knew. He was always babbling on about things, being so upbeat, wearing the suit and trainers. But he grew on me, as new Doctors do. I learned to love the suit and trainers, to love the babbling and to appreciate that the upbeat side of him was just this Doctor’s way of coping with that part of him that could be vengeful.

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He had so much range as the Doctor, and so much evolution. I bonded with him, inevitably, and he because my new Doctor.

My favorite moment with him is actually from one of the short specials they’d do for Children In Need. Naturally, it was the one with Tennant and Davison. The heartfelt speech Tennant gives to Davison, saying “you were my Doctor”, makes me cry good tears every time, because it seem like each of us has “our” Doctor — often the first one we’ve ever seen — who will always be “the” Doctor in that special place in our hearts. It’s like a baby animal imprinting.

I also began to watch more of the older Doctors, and gain some history and perspective on the series as a whole. I discovered that my Mum had watched Doctor Who with her Dad during their family’s year in England when she was ten, and we figured out that “her” Doctor was Patrick Troughton (this has since changed to David Tennant, as she saw the cheesiness that is the old Doctor Who episodes, and as I’ve been getting her hooked on the newer series).

And then the inevitable ending began. It was quite drawn out with Tennant, as they knew for some time that he was leaving, and took pains to build up to it quite effectively. That last scene with him is so heartbreaking, no matter how many times I watch it.

And Matt Smith began. I was swept away by him and Amelia Pond right off, and had high expectations of excellence knowing that Steven Moffat — the brilliance behind “The Empty Child”, “The Doctor Dances”, “The Girl in the Fireplace”, “Blink”, “Silence in the Library”, and “Forests of Dead” (all some of my favorite episodes) — was taking over at the helm. I was not disappointed. That first year of Smith was every bit as rich and detailed and exciting as I could have hoped for, and I adored the hints and clues in every episode for the season(s) long story-arch set-ups.

As the Smith years went on, I watched the characters grow and evolve. The mystery behind River Song was slowly revealed. Rory became my hero. And so on. The exits of Amy and Rory was heartbreaking perfection, the only acceptable way for those characters to ever leave the show. I was caught up in the new mystery of the Impossible Girl, which also eventually played out to perfection.

And now Matt Smith is leaving.

There’s a lot of speculation about who the New Doctor will be. I’m ignoring it, because I think the best way to meet the new Doctor — and the only way that matters if you want to see what kind of Doctor he’ll be — is by seeing him regenerate and discover himself for himself. I’m looking forward to seeing what he’ll be like, but I’m also sad that Matt Smith is leaving. It’s like saying a final good-bye to a dear friend every time. But before that sure-to-be-tear-filled final Matt Smith Christmas Special, there’s the 50th Anniversary special in November, which is confirmed to have a return of Tennant!

It’s like Moffat is trying to rip our hearts out just a little bit more…

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