Two weeks down, one week to go of living out of my suitcase… Yay for other people’s washers and dryers…
This trip has been so interesting. I’m meeting up with people from various points in my history around Seattle, and it all feels very natural and easy to fall back into the rhythms of the healthiest part of our relationship. I think it’s a sign of how much we’ve all changed and grown; we are all more stable in ourselves now and the friendships we had, however turbulent at the time, were based on solid ground. It’s made me much more relaxed, and I keep having a strange feeling I can’t quite place, but I think it has to do with how different — and better than before — everything would be for me if I lived here again.
I’m not planning on moving back — I’m not planning anything beyond the next year I’m spending in Hawaii — but after my time here I feel like it would be a possibility again. But I don’t feel like I’m going to. I still feel like I’m done with the city itself; it’s just these people I’m not done with having as close parts of my life. I’m going to miss them, miss the energy they bring into my life, miss the parts of my personality they each draw out, miss being a part of their lives, miss feeling like I fit in here. But I’ll cherish knowing that I felt that way. I had doubts when I left. This has laid them to rest for good, I think. There are people here who love me, and who I love. There are places here that accept me, where I can belong when I choose to be there. I don’t really ask for much more than that from life.
Much love to you all, cyber friends.