First off, please allow me to apologize for being such a bad blogger over the summer and autumn. I’ve barely posted anything, and so much has been going on that I wanted to share with you all. Unfortunately that’s just what happens sometimes, for various reasons, and I’m sure any other blogger will say the same.
When I started blogging, it was for the Project 365 Photo Blogging. I made a commitment to myself, a challenge to see if I could stick with this one goal for a whole year, with no other incentive to finish other than my own desire to complete it. As anyone who knew me growing up could tell you, I’m not always the best at long-term projects — I tend to be really excited about it at first, and then end up wandering off to the next exciting thing before it’s through, when I get bored or too frustrated. But I wanted to prove to myself that I was capable of seeing something through to completion, and I can be awfully stubborn when I put my mind to it.
So photo blogging was a top priority for a whole year. It was the thing I would make sure to do even when I wanted to do something else, the thing I’d feel guilty over putting off when other things got in the way. I finished the year, with more than 365 photos and descriptions, so despite set-backs and mix-ups along the way, I called it a win and felt good about it. During that year, I also discovered I really liked blogging for itself — big surprise, since I love talking about stuff and feel awkward doing it in person — and was looking forward to continuing my blogging with a looser schedule and more subjects.
The thing is, without the self-imposed pressure of committing to an expectation no one cared about except me, other priorities started creeping up the list to displace blogging from the top. For a while I could juggle it, but when I started a new job in a new state over the summer — without my laptop and without a reliable internet connection — I dropped the ball on blogging. And it’s totally understandable; I was focused on starting a new career in seasonal work, on exploring a new state I’d never seen before, on meeting new people and making a good impression, on feeling the happiest and most content I’d felt in years because I knew this was what I’d been looking for in my life. Compared to all that, it’s easy to see the lack of appeal in trying to type and upload blog posts via my phone with an internet connection that was equally likely to lose the post as to save it.
Now I’m back in Seattle with my laptop and a fast connection, with seemingly nothing but time while I wait for my winter job as housekeeper at a ski resort in Montana to start, and in theory I should be catching up on blogging again. But the thing is, there’s still other things pushing it down the list of priorities; things like looking for a first-ever car to buy so I can do lots of road trips next year to meet in person for the first time many of my close friends from the internet — which, honestly, trying to buy a car and knowing what feels like absolutely nothing about it is terrifying and overwhelming (but knowing the awesomeness of meeting these people in the future totally makes it worth it). Things like sorting through my stuff in the storage unit that I haven’t seen for almost three years, trying to decide what I need out and what can be packed away again. Things like having major breakthroughs in world-building, plot, and characters with my future novel. Things like spending time with friends here who I’ve known for years and don’t know when I’ll see again. Things like trying to process how much I’ve changed and grown up in just one summer (although I really should be blogging more to do that, now I think about it…). Plus the usual blogger distractions, like the entire internet.
So blogging has ended up somewhere in the top of the middle of my priorities list (which doesn’t actually exist in the physical world, in case you were wondering, but perhaps it should). It’s not intentional, it’s just how life works out sometimes. And I feel badly about letting it slip down so far for so long, because blogging is actually quite important to me. I enjoy writing posts, and it truly does help me get a little clarity on my thoughts sometimes. Plus, it’s fun to feel like an active part of world-wide community once in a while!
I’m not going to make any promises for the future with this blog, and I’m not going to make an official schedule. The last thing I need right now is more reasons to make myself feel pressured about a commitment or guilty about broken promises. But I am going to try harder to remember about how much this means to me, and blog a little more often than I was over the summer.
Talk to you soon, I hope.