Since I’ve managed to yet again let an entire month slip by without a single blog post, I figure it’s about time I update you all on what’s been going on in my life lately…
First off, yes, I’m still alive. Yay!
Job situation: March: I attempted something that didn’t work out, and it ended with a serious of intense panic attacks that had as much to do with work as it did with my…
Living situation: March: Staying in the guest room of an aunt and uncle who hadn’t expected a long-term guest when they say I could stay with them “anytime”. Desperately searching for a tolerable situation I can afford, because I’m getting kicked out at the end of the month.
Then came April. Or more accurately, the end of March into April.
Mum put out the call on her Facebook, to rally people into helping me find a place to live. An old friend of my brother’s from our hometown, who happened to be living in Seattle too, puts me in touch with a woman he’s been sleeping with because she’s good people too and happens to be in a similar situation of needing to find people to live with by the end of the month. She and I hit it off. I meet her current roommates and other potential future roommates, and I get my first tour of the Mansion, the place we’re all hoping we can move to.
Built in 1919, three stories including the fully finished basement, pretty well maintained, with picture window views of the sound and the Olympic mountains. There’s a sun room and a window seat and wood panels and inlay wood patterns on the floor and old light fixtures and a dutch door to the porch off the kitchen and a telescope that comes with the house and a huge yard and a huge laundry room and basically it’s most of my childhood ideas of a dream home come to life. It also happens to be in a really nice neighborhood, with a park and a library in walking distance. The only way we can afford to live here is to fill at least most of the ten bedrooms.
Eight of us sign the year-long lease, and move in. Only four of the eight knew each other and had lived with each other prior to the week before we signed. It was a total leap of faith based on gut reaction and hope and a little desperation. The adventure begins…
Meanwhile, I’ve basically quit the job that was triggering panic attacks, and am living off my savings. To justify this, I’ve also accepted an offer to return to the Montana ranch for the summer. I’ll be gone from the end of May into “sometime in October”. I’ve also managed to somehow end up with a regularly reoccurring gig helping a woman clean out her apartment, and even more recently cover for the housekeeper of an AirBnB studio/guest room while she takes off to support her daughter giving birth to a new grandkid. Oh, and I’ve started working on my novel again (hence my accidentally-on-purpose writing mostly in present tense, since my novel is present tense first person.), after not being able to write for two months due to stress and panic. Plus I’m working out almost every day, and working on changing my diet to something healthier than the stress and panic eating I’d been doing.
So basically, my life has done a 180, and I’m pushing myself to maintain this positive momentum right into heading to Montana for work this summer. It’s kind of exhausting, but much more satisfying than the exhaustion of everything falling apart like it was before. I still don’t know what I’m doing with myself in the long term, but I have all summer to figure it out. And I have a place to call home when I come back from the summer job, and people to support me in all forms. I’ll (probably) be okay. And hey, even if I can’t figure out a long-term picture for myself again (and seriously, how often do those really work out for me anyway?), I’m not doing too bad with just focusing on week-to-week and day-to-day; I’m getting a novel written, I’m reading a lot, I’m contributing to a household, I’m building a work reputation and connections, I’m creating a healthy lifestyle with working out and eating, I’m taking daily walks, I have social time with housemates, I’m a ten minute drive away from one of my best friends… That’s kind of a lot of good stuff happening for someone who has no idea what they’ll be doing in six months or a year.
Wish me luck, my friends. And since it’s not midnight yet as I’m writing this… May the fourth be with you! ^_~